Lets explore next what addiction really is, as i believe everyone has or is struggling with an addiction of some type from the obvious drugs and alcohol to television and shopping. What happens .....what are the triggers? Well it different for everyone for sure...but I have identified a few patterns which are helpful to identify problems as they develop. Astonishingly the majority of all the men that i have counseled with over the years with cronic relapse issues fall into a couple of significant groups. I would like to point out that I found myself in these groups as well. The forst group is perhaps predictable none the less important to address is broken relationships and children of divorce. The other group is those who have trouble with chemical imbalances such as ADD or OCD, excessive energy and focus issues.

In this observation there is alot of mischief to explore, but this is where we begin to unlock some of the mysteries of brutal addiction. Wht do so many find it impossible to stop? Why do a few get out and walk away with victory? I have worked with men who have made the conscious decision to embrace recovery and stop the behaviors for extended periods up to years, only to self destruct and sabotage themselves in a matter of days? What is driving this madness or obsession? that the world in general calls laziness or weakness. He just doesnt care, he is selfish, immature ...they say ...they are right, but there is more going on here than most are willing to see.

I am going to introduce my "back pocket theory" that i believe is a key to understanding the addict. When entering into the recovery arena I bpersonally believe most participants REALLY do want to find victory to free themselves from bondage, but most fail. Why? We will discuss the higher power soon, but for now lets look at the addicts mind. My startling revelation that I have discovered that in virtually every recovery, the "back pocket" plays a huge role in getting free. I noticed that when men walk throught he door either figuratively or literally into the recovery decision a major decision is made in the mind of an addict. One that will drive his recovery process and ultimately decide his sucess or failure.

The " back pocket" is simply this, as each individual makes a decision to get "free". He decides what stuff he is willing to give up . share and reveal to himself. God and others. The rest goes into the back pocket.....to be used, resurrected, and fing temporary confort in later. It is this decision that either allows the person to fully get real with himself or others or to only work on areas that he chooses, not entirely get free. Fir some insane reason the addict likes parts of his mess and is unwilling to give it up, and it will return to his demise. At the point of openess and agreement to give up your "stinking thinking" and allow a whole new value system to take root is where you see the winners and losers seperate themselves. Those who put nothing in their pockets are saying Lord I choose complete healing and change, those that dont WILL return to those things, they will pull them out at some point at which time they have chose bondage again.

This is just one of many specific mistakes by addictive personalities, would you like to learn more??

Get off the Merry -Go-round already !

i often wonder about what causes the brain to just check out and stop cooperating with reality, but then I guess i am just wasting time asking........ because I already know the answer. We have an innate ability to fool ourselves into thinking we are ok...when we obviously are not. I am speaking about the addicted mind, being a son of an addict, living in addiction, beating addiction and now a parent of an addict and advocate of recovery i should know its mysteries. It has taken me down many roads...in the process I have learned how it thinks, who it targets...and most importantly how to kill it.

My story started out as normal as most addicts, a little weed, a little beer all in good fun, all to fit in with my friends. Harmless ...right? Well in most all cases no, it is the beginning of a lifestyle choice that for many such as myself has catastrophic consequences. The mystery is why did I succumb so easily to the entire entrapment of the lifestyle , while many of the friends i hung out with did not? It took along time , alot of pain and self searching and studying people just like me to figure it out.

I am 17 years clean and adding to it everyday, and I am going to tell you a few secrets to mastering addiction completely .......would you like to learn a few things about the mind of recovery? Well then lets take a look at it, from my perspective......one that many thought was hopeless and freedom unattainable...but they were wrong.