Higher Power

I have carefully tried to layout in the first couple of installments of this set of thoughts i have been revealing the mechanical side of addiction recovery. I feel that it is important to establish the fact that although I will be discussing the "HIGHER POWER" decision and importance in this process, that there is a huge responsibility for the recovering addict to manage his own life with help.

Here is the loaded question, Can one find lasting sobriety without God's hand? My answer is definitively NO. It wont happen, I go on to say that i am not looking for an argument, I am speaking from personal experience...and personal research. Of the couple hundred men I have studied and my own family experience, I have yet to see an individual find lasting soberiety without the hand of God intervening and restructuring the Heart and mind of the person. NOT ONCE have I seen anyone establish their own plan and grind out a teeth clenching "I am gonna stop even if it kills me" attitude. It is a recipe for failure to not seek the comfort of others and stop believing your own damaged thinking.

There is magic that happens when one decides to trust others and trust God to re-invent their thinking and look at life with new parameters and direction. It is pointless to think you can perform surgery on yourself without making a bigger mess than when you started. I have watched this phenomenon first hand...the individual who says they are going to do this for their family, or for the courts and alot of times for themselves on there own set of rules and adjustments, it always ends in a sad failure.

So, what I am saying is that true recovery is to know Christ , give him your mess of a life......let him surround you with people who care and begin to change your thinking as only God can do. He wont stop you from going in the Liquor store, but he can fill you with a Holy Spirit that will convict you and teach you to discipline yourself. He wont stop you from going back into your neighbor hood and hang out with your "old" friends, but the Holy Spirit will tell you it is a very poor decision, choose again. He wont stop you from doing anything...you have free will which he will not violate, but He will give you the tools to live a happy, productive and disciplined life if you leave the decision up to Him. I know very few people who have had complete deliverance and are Free, I know none that have done it without a Higher Power. In my case ...I gave my life to Christ....wanted to change , left the decisions of who my playfriends were to be, where my playground was to be and what my new playthings were to be and he delivered me to a safe place, I did nothing but submit to the people God put in my life and trusted them, and I am forever grateful. Chose God and chose right.

Lets explore next what addiction really is, as i believe everyone has or is struggling with an addiction of some type from the obvious drugs and alcohol to television and shopping. What happens .....what are the triggers? Well it different for everyone for sure...but I have identified a few patterns which are helpful to identify problems as they develop. Astonishingly the majority of all the men that i have counseled with over the years with cronic relapse issues fall into a couple of significant groups. I would like to point out that I found myself in these groups as well. The forst group is perhaps predictable none the less important to address is broken relationships and children of divorce. The other group is those who have trouble with chemical imbalances such as ADD or OCD, excessive energy and focus issues.

In this observation there is alot of mischief to explore, but this is where we begin to unlock some of the mysteries of brutal addiction. Wht do so many find it impossible to stop? Why do a few get out and walk away with victory? I have worked with men who have made the conscious decision to embrace recovery and stop the behaviors for extended periods up to years, only to self destruct and sabotage themselves in a matter of days? What is driving this madness or obsession? that the world in general calls laziness or weakness. He just doesnt care, he is selfish, immature ...they say ...they are right, but there is more going on here than most are willing to see.

I am going to introduce my "back pocket theory" that i believe is a key to understanding the addict. When entering into the recovery arena I bpersonally believe most participants REALLY do want to find victory to free themselves from bondage, but most fail. Why? We will discuss the higher power soon, but for now lets look at the addicts mind. My startling revelation that I have discovered that in virtually every recovery, the "back pocket" plays a huge role in getting free. I noticed that when men walk throught he door either figuratively or literally into the recovery decision a major decision is made in the mind of an addict. One that will drive his recovery process and ultimately decide his sucess or failure.

The " back pocket" is simply this, as each individual makes a decision to get "free". He decides what stuff he is willing to give up . share and reveal to himself. God and others. The rest goes into the back pocket.....to be used, resurrected, and fing temporary confort in later. It is this decision that either allows the person to fully get real with himself or others or to only work on areas that he chooses, not entirely get free. Fir some insane reason the addict likes parts of his mess and is unwilling to give it up, and it will return to his demise. At the point of openess and agreement to give up your "stinking thinking" and allow a whole new value system to take root is where you see the winners and losers seperate themselves. Those who put nothing in their pockets are saying Lord I choose complete healing and change, those that dont WILL return to those things, they will pull them out at some point at which time they have chose bondage again.

This is just one of many specific mistakes by addictive personalities, would you like to learn more??

Get off the Merry -Go-round already !

i often wonder about what causes the brain to just check out and stop cooperating with reality, but then I guess i am just wasting time asking........ because I already know the answer. We have an innate ability to fool ourselves into thinking we are ok...when we obviously are not. I am speaking about the addicted mind, being a son of an addict, living in addiction, beating addiction and now a parent of an addict and advocate of recovery i should know its mysteries. It has taken me down many roads...in the process I have learned how it thinks, who it targets...and most importantly how to kill it.

My story started out as normal as most addicts, a little weed, a little beer all in good fun, all to fit in with my friends. Harmless ...right? Well in most all cases no, it is the beginning of a lifestyle choice that for many such as myself has catastrophic consequences. The mystery is why did I succumb so easily to the entire entrapment of the lifestyle , while many of the friends i hung out with did not? It took along time , alot of pain and self searching and studying people just like me to figure it out.

I am 17 years clean and adding to it everyday, and I am going to tell you a few secrets to mastering addiction completely .......would you like to learn a few things about the mind of recovery? Well then lets take a look at it, from my perspective......one that many thought was hopeless and freedom unattainable...but they were wrong.